


What I'm Looking For

by slythiewrites



Series: C O L O R S [1]
Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, Genderfluid Character, M/M, Mentioned Kim Seokjin | Jin, Minor Bullying, Minor Cha Hakyeon | N/Jung Taekwoon | Leo, This is cute, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vixx - Freeform, sadboiTM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:51:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slythiewrites/pseuds/slythiewrites
Summary: It was said that your world explodes into color the moment you fall in love with your soulmate. This legend rang true for everyone but Kim Wonsik, who was granted the sight of color as a very young boy. Surely, at age six, he hadn't fallen in love?Lee Hongbin lived only half his life as such. The other half of his life was lived in secrecy. It wasn't the way he wanted it to be, but he didn't plan on changing, either. Only, purple hair, and brown skin throws a wrench in to every single one of his plans.





	1. LOVE REBORN

**Author's Note:**

> "Welcome back!" i say to me who has been gone for far too long. I told myself I wouldn't post any more WIPs and I have just now started finishing up some fics again.
> 
> I have been sitting on this one for months, actually. I tried my very best to write Hongbin's character as truel to self as possible, without crossing boundaries or offending anyone. If there is something about Hongbin's character that you feel could be adjusted, let me know. That doesn't mean I will absolutely take your suggestion but I would love to hear it! 
> 
> I wanted to drop a little info about this universe before we get started so things make a bit more sense to you. :)
> 
>  
> 
> This story takes place in the C O L O R S universe, a soulmate au. When you fall in love with your soulmate, you begin to see color. 
> 
> You don't always fall in love at the same time as your soulmate, which can make for a little bit of a angst and frustration. 
> 
> Colors are taught in school but only minimally. The brain just unlocks the access to colors so the characters will know their names without being told.
> 
> It's super taboo to leave your soulmate, and it rarely ever happens but people will still react horribly to this event.
> 
> When one soulmate dies the survivor is likely to have another soulmate waiting for them.
> 
> And I think that's it.

Won: i'm excited to finally meet you

Binnie: don't be. i'm nothing special 

Won: you're already special to me 

  
  
  


Wonsik shrugged into the black blazer, adding a somewhat formal look to his V-neck white T and blue jeans. He grabbed a black snapback from the bathroom counter and looked himself over in the mirror once more. The colors complemented each other nicely, and Wonsik gave a slight smile at that.

 

Though dating was viewed as silly by all the older generations; Won was going out anyway. In their eyes, the moment you fell in love with your soulmate you'd know it and there was no need to go looking for companions in the meantime. Wonsik however could see color since his childhood, and now he spent his adult life looking for his love. Plenty of his relationships ended because most assumed he had left his soulmate, a taboo topic in their world.

Wonsik hoped this time would be different. If he kept his vision a secret, maybe this could lead somewhere. He grabbed his phone off the counter and sent her a message to let her know he was on the way to the meeting spot. Her response was instant; thumbs up emoji and… a kiss emoji?! Wonsik couldn't help the grin that stretched across his face as he stepped out into the summer day.

 

\----- 

  
  


Wonsik was more handsome in person than he was online, making her hands tremble at the sight of him when she walked out onto the patio of the café they'd chosen to meet at. He stood up as she approached the table, moving to pull out her chair for her, and waiting until she sat to sit in his own chair. His smile released a swarm of butterflies in her stomach.

 

“I didn't think you could be any more beautiful than the pictures on your profile, but you have superseded every expectation I had!” Wonsik exclaimed, smiling fondly at Binne as he sat down.

 

Binnie flushed from her ears to her neck, a rosey pink tinting her face and Wonsik smiled harder. 

 

“I could say the same about you, you're very handsome.” 

 

Wonsik shrugged. “Only my grandma calls me handsome.” 

 

Binnie laughed, loud and joyful and Wonsik felt a little swell in his heart. She had a sweet smile that decorated her face just so. Her hair was dark, just like her eyes, but her skin was light and her lips were the perfect shade of pink. Each smile made the world seem brighter. Every time she laughed, the contagious sound had him laughing with her.

 

Their date was going great, for them to have connected off the internet, it felt like they were a match made in heaven. Binnie loved the way Wonsik made her laugh and she loved how amazing he looked and when he laughed himself. His deep voice rumbled throughout her chest, stirring the butterflies that rested them and sending them into a tizzy.

 

They sat outside a small cafe, talking about Binnie’s dreams, and how difficult it could be to find jobs as an actress without happening upon sexism or objectification.

 

“Kind of ridiculous. Like we have soulmates, yet women are sexualized in movies and tv shows.”

 

“I think the idea of soulmates is ridiculous.” Wonsik huffed. 

 

At this Binnie looked up, her eyes wide with naivete. Wonsik envied that innocence.

 

“Really?”

 

Wonsik nodded. “I just think there's so many people in this world. Your soulmate could be sitting right next to you on a train, but you'll never know because you never speak with them. What if you never even meet your soulmate?”

 

She thought about that boy from so long ago, the one from the park who could see color. Did he ever find his love?

 

“Everyone meets their soulmate!” Binnie said, waving her hand dismissively at the thoughts of the past and Wonsik’s statement, but she still tugged nervously at her bottom lip. 

 

She was 23 now, and supposedly the rate of meeting your soulmate after 25 dropped drastically, and even more so after 30. 

 

“There are people who don't.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Won: can i tell you something?

Binnie: of course!

Won: i love your laugh, it's cute. 

Binnie: awwe. you can tell me that again! 

Won: i love your laugh, it's cute.

Binnie: （♡－♡ ＊)

  
  
  
  
  


It took Binnie all of five minutes to get up the stairs after Wonsik walked her home from the cafe. She'd insisted on walking home since she lived so close, and ever the gentleman, Wonsik walked with her. They held hands as they moved slowly down the street, taking in.the sights and giggling to each other about randoms things. When they got to the door of her apartment block, Wonsik politely kissed her forehead and watched her walk inside.

 

Binnie fumbled with her keys for a moment at her apartment door before unlocking the door, hardly able to focus her mind. She opened the door all the way, and peered into the house before stepping inside. Her roommate's bedroom door was closed, but the light from underneath told her that he was home and more than likely awake.

 

Binnie took off one wedged heel before stepping inside the apartment and doing the same with the other. She closed the door silently behind her and locked it, ensuring the safety of the house. Clutching the heels to her chest, she ran on her toes, not wanting to alert her roommate that she was home just yet. The door at the end of the hall to the right was the door to her bedroom. She slipped inside, closing the door just as quietly as she had with the front one, and locked it just the same.

Binnie leaned against the door for a moment. It'd been a lovely first date, and she smiled gently as she touched that spot on her forehead, still feeling his lips there. She reminisced for just a moment, before she crossed the room and put her shoes in a box on the highest shelf in her closet. When she removed her jeans, the floor mirror that hung off the back of her closet door revealed thick, toned thighs and strong calves. When the shirt came off, rock hard abs and thick pectorals came into view. After she took off her wig, makeup was the only thing that hinted at Binnie’s existence.

The end product was Lee Hongbin, a 23 year old human, who didn't think they were a just  _ man _ or just a  _ woman, _ a physical embodiment of the term genderfluid. Someone who prefers you use the pronouns that work with however they present in that moment, or in general use they/them.

 

Nobody knew that Hongbin didn't really care about gender norms, or that they identified as genderfluid, or that sometimes Hongbin wore makeup and mini skirts, to go out on dates. In fact, Hongbin had even kept this part of their life a secret from their lifelong friend and roommate. Though Hongbin was sure that Sanghyuk wouldn't say a thing in the negative about their preferences and choices, Hongbin didn't want to take the risk. Opening up like that could lead to a lot of judgment and Hongbin was sure not ready for any of that.

 

Once Hongbin put the clothes away in their safe place, a plastic container in the back of the closet under clothes and more plastic containers, Hongbin then shut off the light and closed the closet door. Hongbin hoped they could be swift enough to get into the bathroom with Sanghyuk intercepting. It was a little tricky sometimes, with the bathroom door being parallel to Hyuk’s bedroom door, but Hongbin had mastered the trick over last couple of years.

 

Hongbin left the bedroom door open just enough to give a little light as they ran on the tips of their toes into the bathroom and locked the door.  After using the restroom and washing their hands, Hongbin took to clearing the makeup off of their face. A few wipes and a makeup removing scrub and the night was officially over. Here was Hongbin once again, Binnie was long gone. 

 

Huffs of frustration escaped Hongbin's lips while they wiped down the counters and buried the trash, further erasing evidence of Binnie. As Hongbin began their nightly skin care routine, which was important to have with all the makeup they wore, their mood continued to deflate. Hongbin wished they lived in a space and time where people would be respectful if they showed up to work as Binnie, just as much as they respected masc presenting Hongbin. Not to mention how tiring it was running around all hours of the night, and sneaking into the apartment like a child. Hongbin knew though, that no matter how much they bitched, they would never be able to change it. 

 

Just as Hongbin reached for the moisturizer, Sanghyuk, the roommate, knocked pensively at the door. Hongbin unlocked it and moments later the door opened. Sanghyuk peaked his head in, a bright grin split across his face. The grin was infectious, and in no time Hongbin was smiling back just as widely.

 

“What are you smiling about?” Hongbin asked, patting lotion onto Hyuk’s cheek.

Sanghyuk just shrugged. “I'm not exactly sure? I just missed you is all. Where have you been all night?”

 

“I had a date.”

 

It wasn't a total lie.

 

“Motherfuck! Why don't I get any dates?” Sanghyuk frowned at Hongbin, looking his superior over.

 

“Hyuk, mind your mouth.”

 

The younger rolled his eyes. “Okay, sorry  _ oppa _ .”

 

Hongbin just smiled down at Hyuk while closing up the moisturizer and setting it inside the cabinet by the mirror.

 

“What are  _ you _ smiling about? Did you get laid?” Sanghyuk asked.

 

“No. It was just a very nice date.” Hongbin said, pushing past Hyuk and heading back to the bedroom. When Hongbin climbed into their bed, Hyuk came into the room and followed suit, climbing over Hongbin obnoxiously to get under the covers and lay by the wall.

 

“Ooh, you like this person!” Sanghyuk teased, scooching closer to Hongbin.

 

Hongbin arched a brow at the wide eyed boy in the bed.

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“You only tell me about your terrible dates, never the successful ones. I dunno why you're so afraid of connecting with me still.”

 

Sanghyuk was so awkwardly blunt that Hongbin had to learn from a young age to school their face against Sanghyuk’s words, but  _ still _ sometimes Sanghyuk would catch them off guard. Hongbin’s smile fell almost instantly into the depths of their stomach. 

 

They'd known each other since Hongbin left the old neighborhood when they was eight years old. It was an instantaneous friendship when they'd met at soccer camp that year. Since then, the two had been inseparable, and their friendship seemed to only grow stronger as they aged. Hongbin's conscious ripped them to shred in moment like this: faced with Sanghyuk’s sweet and trusting smile, the strength of their friendship surviving all the years of growing up, and yet the biggest secret Hongbin had wad carried on their own shoulders. 

 

The fear of letting that secret go was paralyzing, even if it was to a lifelong friend. 

 

Being the ever good friend that he was, Sanghyuk reached out and patted Hongbin on the cheek roughly. “Aish, calm down. I tease you just a little and you start to cry.”

 

This made Hongbin chuckle a bit.

 

“No one is crying, Hyukkie. You should get some sleep. You work early in the morning.” Hongbin turned the bedside lamp off and settled into the bed more comfortably.

 

“Stop reading my schedule, hyung!” Sanghyuk whined as he yawned, arms stretching over his head dramatically.

 

“I only check it so I can plan around it.” Hongbin assured with an even tone, though it was another lie. Hongbin checked Sanghyuk’s schedules so Hongbin can plan  _ Binnie’s _ life around it.

 

Sanghyuk mumbled an intelligible string of words into his pillow, out almost instantly with the light. Hongbin shook their head, giving a small smile before  they closed their own eyes and fell asleep, thinking about Wonsik’s soft lips.


	2. Close Yet Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Binnie: hiii!!!!!
> 
> Won: hii!
> 
> Binnie: tell me a secret.
> 
> Won: i can't.
> 
> Binnie: ohh, why not?! 
> 
> …
> 
> Binnie: ehh???
> 
> Won: i just can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the most pure thing I have ever written and I feel like it absolves me from all my transgressions in life.
> 
> THIS CHAPTER DOES HAVE SOME CHILD BULLYING IN IT JUST SO YOU KNOW.

It was officially summer; the trees were full of fruit and beautiful blossoms, the air was sticky and hot, and the breeze was little to not help. Wonsik squatted  above the warm cement, drawing what  _ he _ thought looked like a darn good dragon with some chalk. Children flooded the playground, milling back and forth, talking and yelling to others as they moved around. Wonsik was alone, like usual, as he kept to himself and minded his own.

 

Being six was hard and summer break was just the thing he needed from a stressful kindergarten school year. He'd just lost his first tooth, and the kids had taken to calling him terrible names just to tease him for it. Sitting out on the playground, left alone to draw, had been all Wonsik truly wanted. Just a peaceful moment to himself.

 

Hakyeon and Taekwoon seemed to have different plans. Hakyeon was two years older and Taekwoon was one. Both boys loved to pick on Wonsik, and frequently sought him out of the class of kindergarteners, making fun of his gap where the tooth used to be.

 

“Oh Wonthiiik!” Hakyeon’s sing-songy voice cut through the other voices on the playground and Wonsik froze on the spot. Two pairs of clean white sneakers stepped into view, one of each pair landing right on his dragon. He craned his neck to look up at them.

 

“You're messing up my dragon!” He whined, his tongue slipping around his ‘s’.

 

“You're mething up hith dragon, Hakyeon!” Taekwoon mocked.

 

Damn that missing tooth.

 

“Well, little Wonsik, that's not all I'm going to mess up!” 

 

The 8 year old smirked before lifting his foot and pushing it into Wonsik’s chest. Wonsik fell back onto the cement, hitting his little tush, shoulders and head. Hakyeon kept his foot on the small boy’s chest, pinning him to the ground.

 

“Ow!” Wonsik cried out, staring at the sky and trying to fight the tears pricking his eyes.

 

“Awe, do you wanna cry about it little baby?” Taekwoon stepped closer to him, squatting and leaning down with a menacing grin on his face. Wonsik closed his eyes and shook his head against the cement.

 

“I'm not a baby!”

 

Both boys mocked him in high pitched voices. Wonsik took a deep breath, eyes still closed. His skin was hot on the cement, and soon it would start to burn if he didn't move. Under Hakyeon’s foot he couldn't, and the thought of the burns he'd get from this made those pesky tears stream down his face.

 

“Then stop crying like one!” Hakyeon said, pushing his foot deeper into Wonsik’s chest.

 

Taekwoon laughed above him, his too big hands hanging off his arms as the boy crouched beside him.

 

“Hey,” Another voice called out. 

 

All three boys turned towards the sound to see another boy, maybe Wonsik’s age, holding an ice cream cone in one hand and a teddy bear in the other. “You guys better stop right now! My mommy owns this park and I’m gonna tell on you if you don't stop!”

 

Hakyeon backed off Wonsik, turning his glare to the little boy instead.

 

“Your mommy can't tell me what to do.”

 

The boy stood his ground as the others stalked towards him.

 

“Grab him.” Hakyeon ordered and Taekwoon nodded. 

 

Wonsik watched in horror as Taekwoon reached out to grab the boy by the arms, but the kid was faster. He threw his ice cream right in Taekwoon’s face before stomping on Hakyeon's foot. He pushed between the two and ran towards Wonsik.

 

“Come on!” He reached down and pulled Wonsik off the ground. The boy took off running with his hand tightly clasped around Wonsik's wrist.

 

Wonsik ran with the boy, amazed at how someone so small had just defeated two boys who practically towered over them both. He had saved Wonsik’s life back there, ditching a whole ice cream in place for Wonsik’s safety.

 

“Don't ever come back, or I'll pummel you!” Hakyeon screamed at their backs as they ran through the sea of kids to the other end of the park. 

 

The boy didn't stop nor respond, but just kept running far from the playground. Wonsik knew the others weren't following, but he didn't mind running behind the boy who was leading him away from danger. As they ran, Wonsik noticed now the boy had a soft colored backpack,  _ pink _ his mind provided, with a  _ rainbow _ and a  _ purple _ cat on the front. The designs led him to believe it was a girl's backpack, but Wonsik was sure that- 

 

It then dawned on him that he could see the colors of the backpack. Pink. Purple.  _ Blue _ .  _ Red _ . Wonsik's eyes searched the world around them, taking in the different shades of color. Bushes taller than Wonsik’s dad were  _ green _ . The little gate that signified the edge of the park was black looking really cool and shiny in the sunlight. He noted the blue sky.The benches were made of wood and they were  _ brown _ just like the trunks of the trees around them.

 

The colors just came to his mind, bringing forth new meaning to his life and Wonsik stopped dead in his tracks, bringing his mystery saviour to a stop.

 

“I can see.” He said in wonder, staring at the world with new eyes.

 

The boy looked at him with a silly smile.

 

“Of course you can! I saw you drawing that...thing on the playground. I’m sorry I had to throw your ice cream. I was going to come play with you but-”

 

“No I- wait, my ice cream?”

 

The boy nodded. “I always see you playing alone. I brought an ice cream to give to you but those boys were being mean to you again so I threw it! We needed a diversion.” He nodded again.

 

A  _ what _ ? Who was this kid?

 

“I'm Hongbin!” 

 

Wonsik blinked. Could he read his mind? Hongbin stuck his hand out for Wonsik to shake. When Wonsik took it, he could see the difference in their skin tones, Wonsik was a shade or two darker than Hongbin.

 

“I'm Wonsik.”

 

“I know. So, how come those boys are so mean? They pick on lots of kids but you the most. How come they don't like you?” Hongbin sat down in the grass, putting his bear in his lap and pulling off his backpack.

 

Wonsik sat across from him and sighed with a shrug. “I dunno.” He admitted, staring more intently at the green grass.

 

“What are you doing?” Hongbin asked, getting closer to the ground as well.

 

“I can see colors now.” Wonsik said quietly, unsure what it all meant.

 

“Ohh!” Hongbin gasped, grabbing onto Wonsik’s knee. “But I thought only grownups in love could see colors!”

 

“I thought so, too. Maybe Hakyeon broked my brain when he pushed me down.” Wonsik rubbed at his sore skull, looking at Hongbin with a shrug.

 

“Wow! What color is my backpack?!” He asked excitedly, holding it up as if Wonsik couldn't see it from where it laid between them.

 

“Pink! It's very soft. Like…” Wonsik huffed. He was six and he didn't even know why he could see colors, let alone how to explain the color itself. “Soft like my mom and grandma, too? And its...” He struggled for the words. “Peaceful, I think. My mom says that a lot so I think that pink is like soft and peaceful because it reminds me of her. It reminds me of cotton candy and bubblegum, too.”

 

“Bubblegum is pink?!” Hongbin asked with his wide eyes.

 

Wonsik shrugged again. “I don't know. I haven't seen it, yet.”

 

“Oh!” Hongbin made a ‘duh’ sound and began fishing inside of his backpack until he found what he was looking for. He opened his hand to show a piece of fuzzy gum in his hand. Wonsik took it and stared at it intensely.

 

“It's pink...I think. It's more darker than the backpack.”

 

Hongbin nodded sadly. “It's just a different shade of grey to me.”

 

“Well, the fuzzy stuff on the gum is grey.” Wonsik giggled. “Where's the wrapper?”

 

The skin of Hongbin’s cheeks did something weird, turning pink like his gum. “I wanted to read the comic inside but I forgot to wrap it back up and I lost it.”

 

Wonsik smiled and patted the boy's hand. “That's okay! Want me to tell you more colors?” Wonsik asked him.

 

Hongbin nodded eagerly. “Tell me about the sky!”

 

“Okay!” Wonsik grinned and opened his mouth to begin describing the color blue when Hongbin stopped him.

 

“Wait! Here!” He set his backpack on the ground flat and laid down, his head taking up half of the small space. “So we can see it better!” 

 

Hongbin didn't give Wonsik much of a chance to think about it, sliding his tiny fingers into Wonsik’s tiny hand and pulling him down onto the grass. Wonsik laid his head next to Hongbin’s who smelled like bindaetteok and chocolate ice-cream. It was an odd combination but Wonsik decided that he really liked it before he squinted up at the sky and he tried to come up with words.

 

“Blue is kinda peaceful, too? It looks like it feels cold but not too cold. It makes me feel like napping.” Wonsik yawned pointedly.

 

“Oh.” Hongbin didn't sound nearly as excited for blue.

 

“The clouds are white, though! They look very clean. White looks like nothing is there-”

 

“I  _ knooow _ . I can see white and black and grey!” Hongbin said in a whiney way that reminded Wonsik of his little sister. 

 

“It looks different. Cleaner-er! Bright-er! Anyway, trees have green leaves. And the grass is green too!” Wonsik picked a blade between his fingers and held it up towards the sky for them both to see. 

 

Wonsik looked around as far as his eyes could see without moving his head much. “Lots of plants and stuff are green, actually. I guess earth stuff is green?”

 

“Really? I thought lots of stuff was red.” Hongbin grabbed the blade of grass from Wonsik’s hand, but he didn’t feel the need to fight him over it. He could see there was enough to share.

 

Wonsik sat up and looked around, but they had gone go the edge of the park by the woods. On their left was just the tall green bushes and the small black gate that let people know where the edge of the park was. “I saw a red stripe on your backpack?” Wonsik offered, but Hongbin shrugged, a slight pout on his face.

 

“Well… let's go find some red stuff then. OH!” Wonsik jumped up and Hongbin frowned at him.

 

Wonsik jammed his hands into his pocket until he found what he was looking for, much like Hongbin searching his backpack earlier. When he pulled his hand out, crumbs of the crackers he'd tried to save for later and then forgotten about littered Wonsik’s shoes and the grass where he stood. He held up a small coin.

 

“Let's go see what color ice cream is!” Hongbin sat up very quickly and smiled.

 

“Yes!”


	3. COULD IT BE LOVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cute cute cute cute cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Won: good afternoon! what are you doing?
> 
>  
> 
> Binnie: listening to a musical of an old schoolmate.
> 
>  
> 
> Won: which musical?
> 
> Won: are you enjoying it? i often go to the theater myself but it would great to go with someone.
> 
> Won: and by someone i mean you.
> 
>  
> 
> Binnie: lol!!! i love it. never been tho.
> 
> Binnie: i guess you could say i'm a theater virgin.
> 
>  
> 
> Won: …
> 
> Won: i am not sure if i should respond the way i want to
> 
> Won: what are you listening to?
> 
>  
> 
> Binnie: you should respond however you feel ;)
> 
> Binnie: Mata Hari
> 
>  
> 
> Won: ahh, they are touring.
> 
> Won: ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Binnie: yaa i would have to sell the apartment block to gain enough won to stand outside the door and listen from the hallway. /cry emoji
> 
>  
> 
> Won: aish.
> 
> Won: such melodrama.
> 
> Won: i'll take you.
> 
>  
> 
> Binnie: my birthday is coming up. september baby! /balloon
> 
>  
> 
> Won: /balloon /balloon /balloon /balloon

Won: good afternoon! what are you doing?

Binnie: listening to a musical of an old schoolmate.

Won: which musical?

Won: are you enjoying it? i often go to the theater myself but it would great to go with someone.

Won: and by someone i mean you.

Binnie: lol!!! i love it. never been tho.

Binnie: i guess you could say i'm a theater virgin. 

Won: …

Won: i am not sure if i should respond the way i want to 

Won: what are you listening to?

Binnie: you should respond however you feel ;) 

Binnie: Mata Hari

Won: ahh, they are touring.

Won: ;)

Binnie: yaa i would have to sell the apartment block to gain enough won to stand outside the door and listen from the hallway. /cry emoji 

Won: aish.

Won: such melodrama.

Won: i'll take you.

Binnie: my birthday is coming up. september baby! /balloon

Won: /balloon /balloon /balloon /balloon   
  
  
  


 

 

“Okay, so when do I get to meet her? You've been dating for like two months! You've went out like 6 times! I'm not keeping track but-”

 

Wonsik had been standing in front of the floor mirror in the bathroom for an hour. His best friend and roommate, Jaehwan, was perched atop the bathroom counter, visible in the mirror's reflection. They'd been trying on different shirts and jackets most the evening, and had Wonsik finally narrowed it down to two. 

 

“It's sounds very much like you're keeping track, Jaehwan.” Wonsik said with a chuckle.

 

The man on the counter scoffed and waved his hand dismissively.

 

“I just don't know which outfit to choose. You're so striking in both.” Jaehwan swung his feet.

 

“I don't want her to think I'm trying too hard.” Wonsik frowned at the strong compliment.

 

Right now he was wearing a simple black button up. Three quarter sleeves in case the weather permits for a stroll after dinner. Jaehwan hopped off the counter landing on his toes gracefully. He toed his way across the floor and stood directly behind Wonsik, looking Wonsik over in the mirror. His white undershirt peaked out around the neck and Wonsik moved to fasten to the top button. 

 

“I actually think you could stand to lose the undershirt.” He said, swatting Wonsik’s hand away and undoing the top two buttons.

 

Wonsik balked, giving Jaehwan a reason to laugh. His roommate reached around his waist and slipped his hand under the button up. Five fingers gripped the front of the undershirt and pulled it down.

 

“If that doesn't knock some color into her then I don't know what will! Look, she can even see your tattoo. She'll think you're a bad boy.” Jaehwan winked.

 

Jaehwan and Wonsik had been rooming together for a few years now, but they'd known each other since college. Being long time friends, of course Jaehwan new about Wonsik being able to see colors. Once he turned 18 Wonsik set out about finding answers, again. Jaehwan had been with him to see multiple specialists and all kind of therapists, but he always told it was just an anomaly, the first kid to ever have full access to the color spectrum. 

 

Jaehwan could also see color, though his history was traumatic, unlike Wonsik’s. He'd met his love when he had turned eighteen. They spent two years together traveling the world before coming home to get married. Four years later, Seokjin got sick and died. Jaehwan was a widower, but that didn't make him any less excited to see Wonsik out and dating. 

 

Wonsik had been there with Seokjin when he got the news of his sickness. He helped Jaehwan take care of the other the last two years of his life. He'd held Jae’s hand as they lowered the coffin into Seokjin’s grave. One night, when Wonsik had popped in to visit, he found the door to the apartment open but Jaehwan wasn't inside. Wonsik walked through rain and bustling winds to find Jaehwan collapsed over Seokjin's grave, passed out and hypothermic. After that Wonsik had moved in, refusing to let his friend suffer alone.

 

“I'm not a bad boy.” Wonsik sighed, fussing with the collar.

 

Jaehwan huffed. “Then wear the other one. That black silk looks so nice with your purple hair.”

 

Wonsik nodded. “Yes, I think I will.”

 

He began undressing as Jaehwan padded across the room to the shower where the other outfit was hanging on the glass door. Wonsik tossed the button up onto the counter behind him and shed his undershirt. He held his hand out to grab the shirt and put it on. 

 

“I would let you take me in this outfit.” Jaehwan giggled, setting the long coat on Won’s shoulders.

 

Wonsik chuckled. The two had had their fair share of sexual exploration with each other, especially in college before he went away with Seokjin.

 

“Let's hope Binnie thinks the same.”

 

“Binnie,” Jaehwan smiled. “Such a cute name.”

 

“She's a beautiful woman.” Wonsik found himself smiling as he looked himself over in the mirror once more.

 

“Well, let's not see how cute she is when she's angry, eh? You're gonna be late if you keep stressing.” Jaehwan shut off the light and walked from the bathroom. Wonsik chuckled, fixing his hair one more time.

 

“Okay, I am going.”

 

With his coat and keys in hand Wonsik headed to the front door. He had just turned the lock when Jaehwan yelled to him, voice riddled with irritation. His roommate ripped the door open, yanking the knob and keys from Wonsik’s grip.

 

“Her gift!  _ Honestly _ , Wonsik.” He shoved the wrapped box into the man's hands.

 

“Oh! Thank you!”

 

Jaehwan smiled and shook his head at the man, rushing from the apartment.

 

“Good luck!” He blew a kiss to him before shutting the door.

  
  
  


Binnie was bustling around the apartment by herself, heels of her ankle boots clacking across the wood flooring as she moved into the bathroom to look herself over. Sanghyuk’s schedule on the fridge said he’d be working late tonight, and so she had all night to spend some time with Wonsik and still have enough time to come back and change out of her clothes before he returned. She was excited, tonight Wonsik was taking her out somewhere fancy, no doubt because it was her birthday. She was 24 now, and she planned to spend the evening with one of the nicest people she had dated in a long time.

 

She'd chosen a black dress to wear tonight. It was fall, so she'd have to wear a cardigan, but for that she was grateful, Hongbin’s arms and chest weren't feminine enough to hang out the way the sheer fabric that covered the bust and made up the sleeves would have them. 

 

She'd went and bought a new wig for tonight, enticed not by the cut- two high pigtails at the front while the rest of the hair flowed down her back- but the shade. Binnie had only seen so many things that shade of grey, and she wondered what color it really was. The woman at the counter told her it was  _ orange _ , like the fruit. Binnie couldn't see it herself and she knew Wonsik couldn't either but she hoped he thought the shade a grey was beautiful like she did.

 

Staring at herself in the mirror, Binnie had to take a few deep breaths- calm her nervous stomach and subdue her feverish grin. She knew it pointless to get so excited over a relationship built on lies, but she couldn't help but smile everytime she thought of Wonsik. It was the first time in a long time where she actually considered bringing someone home to Sanghyuk, but she couldn't because Sanghyuk didn't know who Binnie was and-

 

Her phone vibrated, letting her know a text message had just come through. Wonsik was pulling up to the curb. Binnie stomped down her stresses and gave herself another once over in the bathroom mirror before shutting off the light and heading out to the living room. She shrugged on the cardigan she’d left hanging on the back of the couch, and grabbed her purse. 

 

In no time she was moving down the stairs, thankful she had chosen to wear the black wool (well at least she had thought they were black, the fabric was pretty dark anyway) leggings instead of the regular thin ones she had originally picked out.

 

Wonsik was waiting at the curb as he had said, standing beside the passenger side of his car. He looked handsome, wearing a low dipping V-neck

with his hair slicked back. When he moved to open the door, she thought she saw a hint of ink on his skin. Instead of moving into the car she slid her hand into his shirt, catching him by surprise and he gasped at the feel of her fingers on his skin. Wonsik stood still as she peeked inside, reading the YOLO inscription across his chest. Binnie rolled her eyes and laughed in that sweet way and Wonsik thought his insides were melting. 

 

Well, until Binnie stepped in closer, her arms slipping around his waist and giving him a tight squeeze for a hug. Then he was positive his insides were melting, and his knees were rubber yet his arms were strong and he held her tightly to his chest. Her bright orange hair tickled his chin, and he loved it so much he wanted to tell her how great it looked but she couldn't know about him seeing colors.

 

People always looked at him differently when they found out he could see colors but didn't have a  _ soulmate _ or whatever.

 

“You look amazing.” Wonsik settled for a simple compliment, goofy grin still stretched across his face as she stepped away from his embrace. Binnie bit her lip and smiled just as wide.

 

“Thank you. You do, too!”

 

Wonsik nodded his thanks, still grinning like an idiot as she stepped into the car. He waited until she was situated before closing the door. He practically skipped to the other side of the car and hopped in. Binnie could sense his excitement, and she wondered if he could sense hers.

 

“Where are you taking me?” She asked, looking over at him with sweet eyes. Wonsik pushed a button and the car lit up, obviously in on position.

 

Wonsik laughed as he pulled away from the curb and into traffic. “It’s a secret.”

 

She rolled her eyes and pouted. “Please?”

 

“Nice try, but no.” 

 

Binnie huffed and sat back in her seat. Wonsik chuckled and then in a moment of bravery, moved his hand from the gear shift to her knee. Binnie looked down at his hand and smiled, laying her own on top. She didn't think the man could smile any wider but here he was, stretching his lips to the limit.

 

“You're so happy tonight. What's going on with you?”

 

“Well, I am sure you thought I forgot but it's your birthday!” Wonsik said looking at her with excitement.

 

Binnie laughed and smacked her knee with her free hand. “Aha! I knew it was a special day.” She looked over at Wonsik and smiled.

 

“Okay, smarty pants. Anyway it's dinner. Nothing too exciting, I just like going out with you.” Wonsik snuck a glance over out her out of the corner of his eye. Binnie squeezed his fingers tighter, still smiling brightly his way.

 

“I like going out with you, too, Wonsikkie!”

 

“I should hope so. It'd be too late to say no, now.” Wonsik chuckled as he pulled the car into the sprawling parkinglot of a large hotel. He cruised through the parking lot slowly, driving around the nice cars to get to the valet at the front doors.

 

“Ohh,” Binnie’s eyes scaled the hotel into the sky. Wonsik smiled smugly to himself as he pulled up to the valet.

 

“Ahh, Mr. Kim,” Said the young boy who took his keys. “You and your guest have been expected.” The boy gave a curt bow towards him as another escorted Binnie from the car. 

 

Wonsik linked arms with Binnie, who looked at him with awe and wonder. The hotel was nice, the valet knew him by name, and she didn't know what else to expect from the man. Binnie followed Wonsik’s lead, letting him guide her through the lobby, where the floor was marble with gold flecks and gold grouting. She was sure one tile cost more than rent in her and Sanghyuk’s apartment. Binnie had always guessed Wonsik had money, but not to this extent.

 

Wonsik lead her to a restaurant at the far left of the lobby where an attendant took his coat. Binnie refused hers, claiming a chill with an even face. The server nor Wonsik made a comment and instead they were lead through the restaurant to their table. The lighting was dimmed, and this section of the restaurant was relatively empty. A live pianist played softly at the center of the room on a raised platform, yet the young woman at the piano seemed to be a beautiful statue, with long and slender arms, soft face and figure, Binnie couldn't help but envy her in just the slightest ways.

 

“Here is your table, Sir.” The server stopped before the isolated two seated table. Wonsik held out Binnie’s chair and pushed it in with minimal effort, but Binnie couldn't help but wonder if he noticed the weight inside the chair.

 

“Send the wine, please. Along with water.” Wonsik ordered and the server nodded before turning on his heels towards the kitchen.

 

Binnie looked over the menu, trying to keep her eyes in her head as she looked over the prices, she couldn't afford to pay this much money for a meal and she realized she didn't know too much about Wonsik’s job. She looked the man over as he surveyed the menu. Wonsik was very handsome, and his outfits were always so well put together, she could see him working in tv. He was also mysterious though, and awfully guarded when talking about his past, so maybe he was a wanted man somewhere far. 

 

“Okay buddy, what do you do for a living?” Binnie asked, looking eagerly across the table. Wonsik leaned across the table on his elbows and motioned her closer. He then looked around before cupping his hand to her ear.

 

“I work at a car dealership.” He sat back and put his fingers to his lips.

 

Binnie rolled her eyes and sat back herself, and shook her head. Wonsik was funny to her, always making her laugh. “Aish. You're so silly, Wonsik.” Binnie giggled. “What are you getting?”

 

“Order whatever your heart desires, dear.” Wonsik said, his menu covering most his face once again. “There is no budget.”

 

The waiter brought back the wine Wonsik had requested, as well as the water. Binnie skimmed the menu once again and waited for Wonsik to order. 

 

“For you, sir?” 

 

Wonsik put down his menu and smiled politely before looking over at Binnie. “I'll have whatever she's having.”

 

The waiter nodded and turned to Binnie. “And for you, Mrs. Kim?” 

 

Wonsik choked on his wine, but Binnie simply bit back a smile and ordered a steak with mashed potatoes and a salad. The waiter collected their menus and then went back to the kitchens to place their order.

 

“Mrs. Kim, eh?” Wonsik asked once the waiter was far enough out of earshot.

 

Binnie shrugged and sipped her wine. It was a deep red but surprisingly sweet. “Well it seemed awfully rude to correct him.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Plus, is it really so hard to imagine?” She asked, now nervously fiddling with the straw in her water. The ice clinked against the glass as she twirled it around. Boy, she was really playing with fire, now.

 

“No,” Wonsik said, staring right into her face. Binnie blinked for a few seconds before dissolving into a smile.

 

“ _ No _ ?! Not even though our whole lives are fated by ‘true love’ and ‘soulmates’?”

 

Wonsik shrugged. “Firm nonbeliever. There are people who go their whole lives colorblind or people who can see without even being in love it's-”

 

“Who do you know who can see without being in love? They're probably just denying it.” Binnie waved her hand. “Besides, more people find their love than people who don't.”

 

It took everything to keep him from sighing. Wonsik should have known better to get his hopes up. Binnie was like everyone else, sure their love would show up one day, but willing to spend the time dating others until it happened. He couldn't be upset, it wasn't her fault he could see but it wasn't like he could tell her anyway. 

 

Most people thought that because he could see colors he had left his soulmate, which is considered the worst thing you could do next to committing murder. The way she had just responded to his question let Wonsik know that he couldn't just tell her about him seeing colors. At this rate, he would probably have to hide it forever.

 

“Wonsik?” Binnie asked, rousing him.from his own mind.

 

The man hummed, coming to with an embarrassed tug at the corner of his lips.

 

“What were you thinking of?” She reached across the table and grabbed his hand. Wonsik stared down at their entwined digits.

 

“The color of your hair.” The truth slipped out so easily from his mouth and his heart sank into his stomach. Binnie cocked her head with a confused smile. Just as she opened her mouth to ask what would no doubt be a question that may or may not spiral their relationship down to hell, the server returned with a tray full of food.

 

“Here you are,” The waiter placed her  entree and salad on the table before her. Binnie was immediately distracted by the food and Wonsik couldn't help but let out breath. He had come very close to ruining everything.

 

“Thank you,” Wonsik nodded at the waiter who was now topping off their wine and water. 

 

Binnie was eagerly cutting into her steak, and Wonsik wasn't far behind. The table was silent save for the sounds of silverware cutting into the plates and their glasses hitting the table after taking drinks. They were more than halfway done before Binnie spoke again.

 

“Thank you for this lovely evening, Wonsik. This is the nicest dinner I have ever been to.” She smiled.

 

“Ahh, I was hoping you'd wait until after dinner to give thanks.” Wonsik said, reaching under the table and into his lap where he had hid her small present box.

 

Binnie’s eyes widened at the small two-toned grey box. The ribbon and bow was darker than the paper and she couldn't help but wonder what colors they really were. Wonsik slid the box across the table with a shy smile. Binnie stared at it while Wonsik nodded towards her.

 

“Well, get on with it.” Wonsik’s smile teased her as he encouraged her to open the gift.

 

“Ah! Way to ruin the moment!” Binnie said, taking the small box into her hands. 

The box was about six inches long and maybe four inches wide. Binnie lifted the top box off to reveal two tickets for the opera Mata Hari. She gasped, hand pressed to her chest in shock. Sure, they had talked about it but that had been so early in them talking she had forgotten about it until right now.

 

“Are you serious? These are prime seats. Wonsik these must have cos-”

 

“Stop, the cost is not an issue. I only hope you enjoy your evening.”

 

Binnie reached in the box, moving the top to find there were two in the box.

 

“Will you be going with me?” She asked him. 

 

“They are your tickets, take whomever you please.”

 

Binnie rolled her eyes. “Will you, Wonsik,be my date to the opera?”

 

Wonsik smiled as dazzling as ever and  Binnie's heart nearly pumped right out of her chest at the sight. The man was truly handsome, and she let her mind drift off into that possibility for a future together. Could they have a house with a white picket fence? Could they have a dog and a cat that got along really well, and maybe adopt a few children? Could he love Hongbin the way he loved Binnie  _ if _ he ever got to the point where he loved Binnie?

 

“I'd be happy to be your date for the evening.” Wonsik nodded.

 

“How about every evening?” Binnie wiggled her eyebrows at him, her grin devious.

 

Wonsik coughed a laugh, completely caught off guard again. 

 

“You want me to take you out every night?” He asked.

 

What was she doing? Testing waters she knew couldn't be tested. Hongbin could never bring Wonsik home, because his roommate didn't know about Binnie. You can't properly date someone who doesn't know shit about you. 

 

“Ahh-” Binnie fumbled for her words. She was tongue tied. She knew what she wanted, but that wasn't exactly the same as what she could have.

 

“Or are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” Wonsik continued. “Or are you asking me to be your boyfriend and take you out every night?”

 

Binnie laughed.

 

“I uhh, guess I am asking if you-”

 

“Yes.” Wonsik smacked the table with his palm before Binnie could even finish her statement. “Whatever it is, yes. No questions asked.”

 

She smiled, heart fluttering a mile a minute. “Really? Just like that?”

 

“Just like that? Is it so surprising to find that I have taken a fancy to you?” Wonsik reached across the table to hold her hand. Binnie bit her lip. “I haven't smiled so hard in so long, my face hurts after I go out with you.” 

 

“And I can't breathe when you're around? Like when I first see you my heart does this thing and my lungs do this other thing and it's like-” Wonsik trailed off, 

 

“Like you're in love?” Binnie finished breathlessly.

 

“Is that how you feel?” Wonsik asked, somewhat nervously.

 

Binnie nodded. “But I don't  _ see _ anything, I just  _ feel _ so strongly about you.”

 

Wonsik looked away from Binnie's red cheeks and her orange her and her big brown eyes for a second, trying to keep himself from slipping. Of course she felt like she loved him but that meant nothing if he didn't make her see colors. He wished he could tell her that it didn't matter, that he could see colors all his life as a result from a head wound as a child but he knew it would do more harm than good.

 

“Oh.” Was all he said, but the silence spoke volumes for them both.

 

Binnie was tied. Like Wonsik had described, she was clearly falling in love. She was willing to risk it all, tell him everything but she wouldn't lose him if she didn't have to. Without the sight to prove he was the one for her Binnie feared he'd walk away from her the moment he knew the truth.

 

What could she do?

 

The rest of the evening was sort of solemn, not much for words but Binnie didn't let go of Wonsik's hand the entire ride home, and Wonsik decided to count that as a plus.

 

When he pulled up to the Binnie’s apartment, they sat in the car for a second, the motor slightly purring as it idled at the curb. Binnie stared at their hands, not wanting to remove her fingers from his. Wonsik gave a soft sigh and gave her fingers a squeeze.

 

“We can't sit in the car all night,” He chuckled.

 

Binnie merely hummed in disagreement, giving Wonsik a reason to smile and say, “It's not like I'll never see you again, the concert is tomorrow.”

 

“What if you find someone tomorrow and-”

 

“It wouldn't matter one bit.”

 

“Well, if they bring color into your life it would matter a great deal.” Binnie grumbled in somewhat a pout.

 

“Ah, I will shutter myself in a room with no windows until the next time I see you, if that would make you feel better.” Wonsik stroked the back of Binnie’s hand with his thumb.

 

“Only if I'm in it with you.”

 

Wonsik beamed at her words.

 

“Wouldn't it be dreadful if you met someone at the opera?” Binnie asked.

 

“The only one in question here is you.” Wonsik smiled. “With me you have nothing to worry about.”

 

Wonsik squeezed her fingers once more before prying himself from her grip. He jumped out of the car and moved around to her side quickly, holding the door open for her with one hand and the other out for her as she stepped out of the car.

 

“Can I walk you upstairs?” Wonsik asked, closing the door behind her.

 

“But the car is on?” Binnie looked down.

 

“The doors are locked. It'll be fine. Come,” Wonsik wrapped her arms around his and Binnie followed him with no more questions. They came to her front door too quickly, Binnie turning to face him and grab both his hands. 

 

She didn't want this night to end and Wonsik could see it in her face. Binnie stood there for a long moment, staring at their hands again, her brown eyes wide with longing and maybe even sadness. The corners of her lips sagged just a bit, and she just looked tired.

 

Wonsik stepped forward, closing the distance between them. He looked down into her brown eyes and wet his lips before leaning down kissing hers for the first time. A wonderful warmth spread from Binnie’s chest to her lungs and trickled down her spine. She shivered as her eyes closed and Wonsik deepened the kiss if only slightly, his tongue tasting just the inside of her mouth. She sighed, her muscles tensing and then relaxing just moments after. 

Wonsik pulled back slightly, kissing her nose as he did. He was pleased at the pink tinge of her cheeks, the flushed feeling of her palms in his hands. When she opened her eyes, he was even more pleased by the look of wonder on her face.

 

“Have a good night, love.” He pecked her nose again and made to leave, looking back just once before continuing down the hall. 

 

“Shit.” Binnie exhaled, staring at the back of his head.  _ Brown _ tanned skin and  _ purple _ hair. “ _ Shit _ .”

 

Her world had exploded into color.   
  



	4. I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, because if I can't live without it.

Won: im on my way, love

Binnie: , love

Won: ???

Binnie: ❤

  
  
  
  


Binnie kept a box of tissue close throughout the entire opera. She was grateful for that expensive as setting spray, because she was really getting her money's worth tonight. The performance was beautiful; full of emotion and raw feelings. His old classmate, Taekwoon, had grown in so many ways, from the schoolyard bully to a notable theater performer. Binnie was glad to see the man turn his life around.

 

Wonsik watched Binnie the whole show, enraptured by the beauty that she was. When the show was over, Binnie ranted and raved for almost and hour, her face glowing as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes.

 

“And Taekwoon-ah! He used to be such a big bully but now look at him!” Binnie exclaimed as they walked to Wonsik’s car.

 

“Seems all Taekwoon’s are bullies. I wonder what my bully is doing now.”

 

“Hopefully being a contributing member of society!” Binnie grinned.

 

“So, now what?” Wonsik asked, opening the car door for her.

 

Binnie slid into her seat and contemplated her next move. What is the use of hiding now? She waited until Wonsik was in his seat before responding, “Let's go to my house. I want to show you something.”

  
  
  


Sanghyuk was sitting on the couch playing video games when Binnie walked in with Wonsik. He paused the game immediately and sat up, trying to push his unruly hairs down on his head.

 

“Wonsik, this is Sanghyuk, my roommate. Sanghyuk, this is Wonsik my-”

 

“Boyfriend!” Sanghyuk exclaimed, clapping his hands. Binnie rolled her eyes and Wonsik smiled politely.

 

“He is very handsome, just like you said Binnie.”

 

“Aish!” Binnie shot a look to Sanghyuk as she sat Wonsik down on the couch.

 

“I'll let you two have some privacy,” Sanghyuk smirked, turning off the console. Wonsik looked over at Sanghyuk and exclaimed loudly, staring at the controller.

 

“Where did you get this?!” The man exclaimed, lurching forward to grab it as Sanghyuk placed it down on the coffee table.

 

“Ahh, the game store?” Sanghyuk asked. They both looked at him quizzically as Wonsik stared at the controller in wonder.

 

“It's _pink_. We have spent so much time collecting all the colors but we don't have-”

 

“Pink?” Sanghyuk squeaked, looking at  Binnie with a wide smile. Binnie stared at Wonsik in her own shock. He could see colors, too, but she had known that already. That unease that had settled in her guts a few days before resurfaced.

 

“Ahh- ahh.” Wonsik stuttered.

 

“I'm just gonna go-” Sanghyuk mumbled, slinking down the hall and into his bedroom.

 

Binnie and Wonsik stood in their places, staring at each other and waiting. The tension in the room was thick, palpable in between Wonsik’s sweating palms.

 

“So, you can see colors?” Binnie asked.

 

Wonsik was silent for a long moment before muttering his confirmation. Binnie slumped into the love seat just before her.

 

“I can explain!” Wonsik said quickly, coming to his knees before her in the chair. He reached out and held her hand in his.

 

“Please do. I would hate to fall in love with someone who belongs to someone else.” Binnie’s voice was cold, and Wonsik felt the words twisting like a knife in his gut.

 

“I don't belong to anyone. I told you I love only you.”

 

“But it doesn't work that way, Wonsik! How long have you been able to see them? Is it me that gave them to you?”

 

Wonsik looked at the floor, face reddened. “No.”

 

“ _What_?!”

 

Wonsik turned his gaze back to binnie, eyes wet and prickling with tears.

 

“It's so much to explain, Binnie, no one knows why I-”

 

But Binnie was shaking her head now, eyes squished closed but unable to stop the tears that were streaming out anyway. “Just go,” She whispered out, pulling her hands from his.

 

“Binnie, no please let me-”

 

“There's nothing to explain, Wonsik, just go!” She yelled, covering her face.

 

Wonsik stood up obediently, and began walking towards the door on autopilot. At the door, he turned to look back at Binnie once more, but her hands still covered her face, and Wonsik couldn't see her. His limbs felt heavy as he twisted the knob and left out the front door. It closed behind him with a final click and Binnie was left alone.


	5. WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy endings!

Won: i need to see you 

Won: please 

Binnie: i can't

  
  
  


It was spring now. The blossoms in the trees bloomed brightly, frangrancing the air. Wonsik stared at his phone as he sat under a tree in the park, looking at pictures of Binnie and thinking of his childhood. Once again the curse of his colors had struck, leaving him high and dry and all alone again.

 

Jaehwan had been as much comfort as he could, but nothing could heal Wonsik. He was beyond the point, ready to give up on love altogether. He sighed beneath the tree, the wind carrying his breath away from him. Wonsik stared at the blue skies, wondering what Hongbin, the boy that saved him long ago, was doing now.

 

Wonsik had moved that summer, and hadn't moved back until after he had graduated school. After all the doctors visits and after all the tests. No one had an answer for him, and he was left to wonder if fate had really found him that day. If he had found his love, in either Hongbin, Hakyeon or Taekwoon, but time had carried them all away from him. 

Wonsik scoffed. Yeah, right. A six year old in love.

 

He put his phone away and got to his feet, resigned to head home. He had been gone for so long, and ignored three of Jaehwan’s calls. The man would put out a missing persons if he didn't check in soon. The old ice cream shop was still down the street, the one where Wonsik had shown the other boy all the different colored sprinkles. He smiled to himself, deciding to pop over for a small pick me up.

 

Wonsik was moving quickly, somewhat excited for the taste of nostalgia. He hadn't had an ice cream in years, and what better time than now, in the spring, when he felt like the world had nothing good to offer him? On the way into the shoppe bumped into someone, a slim figured man with wide brown eyes smudged with what looked like last night's makeup.

 

He was familiar in a way that caught Wonsik’s breath. It was the boy from his childhood, he was sure of it, but it also looked like- 

 

“Hongbinnie! I got you an extra cone, too!” A voice called from behind them. Sanghyuk appeared at Hongbin’s side, holding the ice cream out to him, but Hongbin was looking right at Wonsik, face stricken.

 

“ _ Binnie _ ?” Wonsik breathed.

 

“ _ Shit _ .” Sanghyuk muttered, now realizing Wonsik was standing there.

 

The three of them stood in front of the doors for what felt like hours, just staring at each other. Wonsik looked down at Hongbin’s ice cream, vanilla with sprinkles. He smiled softly to himself, remembering that day.

 

“You've got all red ones.” He commented. 

 

Hongbin let out a nervous laugh and nodded.

 

Suddenly everything clicked in his mind. “It's you. It's been you this whole time,” 

 

“What do you mean?” Hongbin asked, voice shaking.

 

“The park, Taekwoon and Hakyeon, red sprinkles...it was you.”

 

Sanghyuk scrunched his face in confusion, but Hongbin let the words settle on their mind. “Red sprinkles... You're Wonsik?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Can someone clue me in here?” Sanghyuk asked, lost in the mix. “He is obviously Wonsik. Who is Taekwoon and Hakyeon? What's the big deal about sprinkles? You know how long it took that lady to separate them?!” 

 

“I always thought I could see color because Hakyeon had knocked me down. Maybe I hit my head really hard on the cement. My parents went to doctor after doctor, I saw therapists as an adult and went through all this studies surgical procedures but it was you. And you-” Wonsik cocked his head a bit. “Are also Binnie?”

 

Hongbin sighed again, looking down at the ground. “She is me. I was going to tell you that day, but-”

 

Wonsik shook his head. “It's fine.”

 

“It's  _ not  _ fine! I have been a wreck without you. And I accused you of these terrible things and-”

 

In his pocket Wonsik’s phone began to chime. It was a video call from Jaehwan.

 

“Ahh, hang on. It's my roommate if I don't answer he’ll freak.”

 

The two looked at each other questioningly again.

 

“Jaehwan-”

 

“Where have you been? I have been worried sick! You can't just go moping around town by yourself and not answer my calls, Wonsik! Where are you?”

 

“I'm fine. I am getting ice cream, I am here with Hongbin.”

 

Jaehwan frowned. “Hongbin. Who the fu- the kid from your childhood, ya? Well you couldn't have paused catch up to answer my calls?! Wonsik I have been-”

 

“Worried sick, I know.”

 

Hongbin and Sanghyuk giggled, leaning in to steal a glance at the overprotective friend on the line.

 

“Well, next time answer the phone. I’m going to Jin’s parents for dinner tonight, his mom called this morning while you were out and invited you, too.” 

 

Wonsik looked over at Hongbin. “I think I might pass this time.”

 

“Ya, you know how Jin’s mom is Wonsik!” Jaehwan gave a pout, his puffy lips jutting out from his face in an adorable way, but Wonsik would not be swayed.

 

“Tell her I love her, but I have some things to sort out.”

 

Jaehwan huffed again, mumbling an agreement before hanging up the phone.

 

Wonsik pocketed his phone and turned to Sanghyuk and Hongbin.

 

“Jaehwan is my roommate and best friend since college, basically. Jin is his husband who died a few years back. We were all really close friends so we stay in contact with his family.” Wonsik explained. 

 

They both nodded in understanding.

 

“So, pardon me for speaking out of turn,” Sanghyuk said, taking a small tongueful of his ice cream before continuing. “But isn't it wild that you guys have basically been looking for each other the whole time, only to find each other here in front of this ice cream shoppe?! I mean talk about fate!”

 

Hongbin snorted. “Wonsik-ah doesn't believe in fate.”

 

“Oh?” Sanghyuk raised a brow.

 

“Well, I started seeing colors at age six with no explanation, you kind of have to give me a break there.” Wonsik shrugged with a chuckle. Sanghyuk nodded.

 

“Ahh, yes. It would be odd to think of a little boy in love, but I guess it's possible!”

 

“Hyukkie, you're so excited. Maybe you shouldn't finish your ice cream.” Hongbin teased.

 

“Yes, I am excited, hyung. This is your first love! And now you guys know all the truths about each other! Only good things can happen from this point!”

 

Hongbin reached out and grabbed Wonsik’s waiting hand. It'd been so long, almost two months, but their hands fit together perfectly because they were made for each other, and that made Wonsik’s heart flutter a mile a minute.

 

“I believe that.” Wonsik spoke up. Hongbin looked over at him with a hopeful smile. “As long as Bin is by my side, I see good things in our future.”

  
  


Binnie: i got a new wig 

Binnie: just wait til you see the color 

Won: ooh?

Binnie: …

Won: what color is it, babe?

Binnie: think of my favorite sprinkles! 

Binnie: good night!

Won: i should have known. sleep well, my love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story! It's a pretty short one for me compared to most my other works, and I tried to keep it light and cute for once. 
> 
> There's been some expansion on this universe, and once I finish those chapters I will definitely post them! Be sure to subscribe to be updated as soon as it's up!


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